NPB Credentials
HOW TO BEEF UP YOUR "No JWA Expansion!" RESUME
Nearly everyone running for
election in Newport Beach or Costa Mesa says John Wayne Airport is
their city's number one problem - a beach city version of the national
campaigners' Iraq.
What is a candidate to do without any proven track record of
action on the city's number one issue?
Don't be left
out in
the political cold.
You need not have
* Supported giving $3.6 million of
NPB city money to the Airport Working Group
* Contributed to "No on Measure F"
or W". Why waste your money when George Argyros and the city did it all
for you?
* Voted for Jim Silva.
* Used Ontario Airport
instead of JWA to help your neighbors.
JUST HIRE
US TO AGGRANDIZE YOUR PRO-EL TORO EFFORTS. *
To keep up with the demand, the El Toro Info Site
http://www.eltoroairport.org
offers these cost effective packages:
1.
"JWA No, ET Yes" FIGHTER PACKAGE $1,695 ($1,000 cash and no questions)
Your name will be inserted into a
made-up El
Toro Info Site article about the growth of South County and why El Toro
is needed, including one obviously irrational statement about you by an
ETRPA city NIMBY of your choice. Larry Agran $50 additional due to high
demand.
We will create one letter to the Editor of the Daily Pilot signed
by you and post it to our Early Bird News section along with simulated
companion pieces by Shirley Conger and Donald Nyre. 200 words (Note:
NIMBY counts as one word the first time only.). Suitable for copying to
a campaign piece.
Select theme:
1.
Close JWA,
2. Cap JWA against future expansion.
"10.8 and lock the gate"
3. Newport Beach should own JWA.
A T-shirt proclaiming
"LAX Expansion
No, El Toro Yes" gifted to AWG political consultant
David Ellis by Mike Stevens
(click for
picture of the shirt) plus 8x10 glossy photo of you wearing
the shirt and shaking hands with Ellis. Not shaking hands $100 extra.
A
slightly used
"No on the Great Tax - No on W"
lawn sign for use at your house during the upcoming city council
elections.
2.
JWA EXPANSION KILLER PACKAGE $2, 995 (Available for 100,000 frequent
flyer miles)
3.
ANTI-JWA LEADER $24,995 - YOU CAN AFFORD IT!
Everything
in the JWA Expansion Killer Package plus
One letter of praise from Bruce Nestande, repeating his mantra that
"the people in Los Angeles and Riverside should be able to not allow
Orange County residents to fly out of their airports,' or should be
able to impose a surcharge on Orange County passengers and cargo for
using their airports" (
LA Times, February 24, 2002).
Nestande's letter will state that you've earned the right to be let
through
for free.
150- minute picnic lunch with Charles Griffen
and Russ Niewiarowski near El Toro for an explanation of the V-Plan
with one Polaroid photo. Specify vegetarian or pork.
Your signature faked into one cartoon published by the AWG. Submit your
own crude effort or choose from
4.
"NPB RULES" CHAMPION $99,995 - OUR MOST PRESTIGIOUS PACKAGE
Everything
in the Anti-JWA Leader Package plus
One cameo appearance by Jim Silva at your campaign fundraiser within 10
mile radius of Balboa Island. Note:
Please
call 24 hours in advance to
be certain that he has not changed his mind.
One nicely phrased inspirational message from Barbara Lichman in a
genuine gold-finish pendant with photo and lock of her hair. Sample:
A professional quality fake photo of you shaking hands with Chuck Smith
while Cynthia Coad beams in approval. 1 free autographed 8x10 glossy
and six wallet sized prints included. Available as a photo CD if you
use a computer.
Extra
gift for ordering early. Receive this rare El Toro Airport mascot.
We accept Visa, MasterCard, Discovery, Frequent Flyer miles or cash.
* Small print. Whether specifically stated or not, all
offered documents, items and photographs - especially
any "Just the Facts" material - are
fakes. Country of origin varies. Offer limited to supply on hand.
Not responsible for the participation of others. Not available where
taxed or prohibited. Employees of the Daily Pilot are not eligible to
participate.
CURRENT
NEWS
ISSUES
October 24, 2004
